Wrapupalooza: School Edition

Love that Wrapupalooza title? Me too. I borrowed it from Lisa, who borrowed it from Tiffani. Tiffani is quite the clever one.

My kids started school yesterday....

Everyone had a great first day. School actually started last week, but since we were in AR, yesterday was our official first day. Everyone jumped right in without incident. The biggest shocker of the day? I didn't shed a single tear. Unbelievable! 

Abbey has the same teacher/class as last year (huge blessing!) and is my only child left at our beloved elementary school. Sarah started middle school and has all of Will's teachers from last year (another huge blessing). Will is such a laid-back kid that it didn't matter which teachers he ended up with as long as he was with his friends. Everyone is happy, including ME!

I had lots and lots of running around to do while they were in school. Abbey has an Epipen for an allergy to pistachios so I had to get that refilled and all of her medical forms signed/faxed to the school, and get some appointments scheduled for check-ups/shots next week. Also had to buy groceries since I haven't cooked in a month. I've been gone three of the last four weeks and I am so tired of eating out. Ugh. I'm finding it really hard to get back in the menu-planning/cooking groove though. 

Of course I also had to make a second trip to Walmart after dinner for school supplies. I was amazed a couple of weeks ago when I took the kids shopping and we found everything on our list in one trip to one store. I should have known that was too good to be true. Will and Sarah came home yesterday with an *updated* list (never mind that the list that I shopped from was the one I printed from the school website--argh!). Why do teachers do that? I feel like I'm bleeding money again and I'm ready to stop!

I usually draw the line at new backpacks. (Remember this question from last year?) No one in our family got a new one last year...but this year I caved. Poor Abbey has never had a new one. She's always used her sister and brother's hand-me-downs, and I promised her this year would be different. Sadly, I didn't get one purchased before the events of last weekend transpired so her daddy took her out last Sunday afternoon to find one. She loves it. Will scored a new one too. It was my dad's. 

I am really hoping that the routine of the school year will help me settle into a nice pattern for the fall. Honestly, I feel like we had NO summer. Things with my dad started getting really serious one week into our summer and they went quickly downhill from there. So much of my summer was spent on the phone or on the road or in a state of worry. I'm very sad that he's gone, sure, but I'm hoping that I can begin to move forward without his health weighing constantly on my heart and mind.

I let go of two HUGE volunteer commitments this year. I feel a lot of relief about that as well. You cannot know how free I feel. It's a really good feeling! I'm trying to get a feel for my weekly schedule and not overload myself. I'm such a homebody and need lots of space built into my week! 

It's been feeling very fall-ish here this week which is a very nice change from the heat and humidity we experienced in AR. The kids wore jackets to school today and I just made another pot of coffee. I love fall! And since summer was such a blur, I fully intend to revel in my second favorite season--autumn!!! 

Spinning

Whew! It's been a whirlwind week and I feel like I'm still spinning.

Just wanted to check in and thank all of you for your words, prayers, and thoughts for my family last week. They made all the difference. Truly.

I'm still processing some of my emotions from last week (and the entire summer, really). I feel sad, relieved, frustrated, and many more things. Maybe one day I will share some of that here. Right now though I am spent. Emotionally. Mentally. Physically. 

And this week is shaping up to be BUSY. My kids missed their first two days of school last week, so we're getting ready for "our" first day tomorrow. They're excited but I'm feeling like summer ended WAY too abruptly. I'm also looking at my calendar for this week and trying not to scream! My mind and body are so tired and I feel like I can barely keep up with the hundred and one things that need to be done right away. Ugh. More prayers please!

Anyway, I must get going. I have school paperwork to fill out, backpacks to load, outfits to get ready, and I really want to enjoy some family time before tucking my kiddos in bed.

Thank you again for your prayers. I'm deeply grateful.

An Update...

Hi, I'm Amy (better known here in the comments as Whimzie from Snoodlings). I'm blessed to call Meredith my friend and she asked me if I would come by and let you know about events that have transpired over this past weekend.

Most of you know that Meredith's dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in November of last year. Over the last few weeks he has battled serious infections and other complications that developed as a result of his disease. This past weekend, his organs began to fail and on Sunday morning, Meredith's dad died.

Meredith flew to Arkansas on Sunday. John and the kids are driving from Colorado today. Over the next few days, Mer and her family will have a series of memorial services and visitations in two different cities in Arkansas before they travel back to Colorado.

Please pray for Meredith and her family. Pray for safe travel for John and the kids today and for the rest of the family as they travel different places throughout the week. Pray for peace and strength for Mer. Pray that Mer and her family will have the wisdom they need to deal with all the details and questions and decisions that follow a family member's death. Pray that they will deal effectively with the physical and emotional stressors that this week will bring. Pray for physical and emotional health for Meredith and her family.

I certainly don't know what else to say or do for Meredith right now. I can't tell you precisely how she's feeling. At times like these, I'm so grateful that she and I share a Father Who does know exactly how she feels and what she needs, because He Himself is everything she needs. In the last two emails I received from Meredith she told me that she has felt supernatural strength, grace, prayers, and God's provision for her over the last couple of days. Her faith is what will support her through this week and in the days and weeks ahead.

She will also draw from our strength and encouragement and support. I am sure that she can't respond to each individual email, comment, or text right now, but I know she appreciates the heart and love behind each one. We will be patient and give her the time she needs to work through the jumble of emotions she may be feeling. I feel confident that as soon as she is able, she will be back here to let you know how she's doing. She will have tough days, I'm sure, but I am confident that she will get through this.

Thank you (from Meredith) for being such sweet friends.

Amy

My purse will be heavier now...

Remember a couple of weeks ago when I mentioned that I bought a new game to take with us to the cabin? Well, Scrabble Slam! was a hit with my kids. In fact, the girls and I have played it almost every day this week.

I also found LCR, the other game I was looking for, at a shop in Durango. We like it a lot, but it drags on forEVER so it's a little harder to entice my kids to play. I think the secret is to play with fewer chips!

And because I'm nuts about games, I also picked up the travel version of Farkle last week too. It's way more fun than the online version (scoring is also a bit different) and Sarah is the reigning champ at our house.

What I like about all three of these games is that they're small enough to keep in my purse.

Last night, John called as he was leaving work and asked if we were up for dinner at our favorite mexican restaurant. Well alright, honey, twist my arm. All three games were sitting on my kitchen counter because we've been playing them all week, so on a whim I chunked 'em in my purse as we were leaving. While we were waiting for our food to arrive, I whipped out Scrabble Slam! and we played two quick games.

I love that idea of taking a game to a restaurant. My friend, Chele, does this with her family and is the one who gave me this brilliant idea!  I remember her telling me once that they grab a stack of cards from Apples to Apples to take and play while they're waiting.

My kids had a blast once they got over their initial (pre-teen) embarrasment, and it definitely made the wait time pass more quickly.

I don't know about you, but I look around restaurants sometimes and see couples and families sitting in stoned silence. Or simultaneously texting, surfing the net, or playing games on their phones. I don't want my family to be like that!!! I decided last night that these three games are staying in my purse for times like these. 

This is the next game on my list to buy. I doubt it will fit in my purse though. *wink*

Note: I found Scrabble Slam! at Walmart for $5.24. I bought LCR for $7 at a specialty kids store, but rumor has it that Bed, Bath, & Beyond sells it too. Pocket Farkel was $6 and I bought it at an independent bookstore. For less than $20 (the price of most games) we now have three fun games. I think that's a bargain.

If you don't like the mountains, skip this post!

Finally! Some pictures of our vacation last week. Forty-six photos with minimum commentary--the perfect vacation post!

Our trip started out in Santa Fe, New Mexico.


I took very few pics. A couple of these are of the kids walking the prayer labyrinth at this cathedral. Santa Fe is gorgeous. My only disappointment was that we didn't get to eat at The Shed because we were there on the one day of the week it is closed. 

From there we drove to Durango, CO. We rented this cabin for the week. 

We found it through this site (Vacation Rentals By Owner). John has used this website several times to find cabin rentals and we really can't say enough great things about it. 

A few pics of the interior.

Our view from the deck--overlooking Lemon Reservoir. Gorgeous. If you click on the picture to enlarge it you can probably see some of the bare trees and damage from the Missionary Ridge Fire in 2002. (On the left side of the ridge). 

The kids loved playing outside. They especially loved the fire pit and feeding the healthy population of chipmunks.
We had a rainy week, but one night John got a fire going and we made s'mores!

And one morning we drove down to the reservoir and let the kids do some fishing. We didn't catch a thing and we got rained out to boot.

The highlight of our trip was a train ride on the Narrow Guage Railroad from Durango to Silverton. Everyone got a train ticket from John's parents on their birthday this year! Before we left for the train station on the morning of our ride, all the kids sang "Happy Birthday" to us all. Cute.

The train is pulled by a steam engine so we had several water stops along the way. 

By the way, all of the really good pics of the train ride (and all the other good ones in this post) were taken by John's brother. He has an awesome camera and I'm thankful he shared them with us!

Yeah, don't stick your head too far out the train windows!!! The distance between rock and train got even narrower than this pic reveals!

The train stopped in Silverton and we had time to eat lunch and do some quick shopping. It was a LONG day. It took about 3.5 hours to get to Silverton and the same amount of time to get back. The scenery was amazing though!

We also spent some time in downtown Durango. 

LOVED this car. Because I love Life is Good stuff. 

We decided to take the scenic route home and detour through Ouray, CO. 

OH. MY. GOSH. That was the most gorgeous drive. In fact, I think that southwest Colorado may have surpassed my beloved Estes Park as my favorite place in the state. It was THAT beautiful. See?

The two pics above were taken at the top of Molas Pass. 

(Don't know who the biker dude is, but he didn't seem to be leaving and John said it would be rude to ask him to move for my pic.)

Now tell me...is this not the most amazing scenery? I want this to be the view from my future home in the mountains. 

Downtown Ouray, "The Switzerland of the Rockies". 

From Ouray, we traveled through Montrose, Gunnison, Salida, Buena Vista (true Coloradoans know how to properly pronounce that!) before entering our home turf. I lost count of all the mountain passes we climbed, but each one was awe inspiring. I truly love this state! Love vacationing here as well. It was a great week. 

And we only saw one of these. Of course it was immediately after I told my brother and sister in law that there aren't any snakes in Colorado. Go figure.

Confession...

There is a LOT going on in my life that has me feeling overwhelmed right now. A whole lot. For many months now, I've had something fun to look forward to--a getaway with some friends that is happening this weekend. 

However, I realized about a month ago that it just wasn't going to work out for me to go. Tears, more tears, and a heaping dose of disappointment surrounded my decision to back out.

I know deep down that it was the right decision, but it's been hard not to let the disappointment swallow me.

I had some time while I was in Arkansas a few weeks ago to actually be still and hear myself think. I had way too much time to let the roots of that disappointment sink deep. Really deep. Trust me, no good came of that. 

I turned things over in my mind day in and day out and you know what? I decided somewhere along the way that the blame for me not getting to go on this trip was entirely my husband's fault. I decided that he knew how important this trip was to me and that he purposely scheduled a business trip for the same weekend. I decided that he didn't care about my heart or my emotional state or my need for some self-care. Basically, I was listening to the lies that the enemy/devil was whispering to my heart and I agreed with every single one of them.

Ugh. Such ugliness.

On the way to Santa Fe where the kids and I were planning to meet John (after a lengthy time apart) I felt myself growing more and more resentful. I took all those agreements I'd made about him not giving a rat's rear about me and let my heart grow stony cold. At that point, I started making vows.

Things like...

He doesn't care about me so I will not make myself vulnerable to him ever again.

I will never admit my needs.

I am on my own. I will find a way to survive (emotionally) without him. 

By the time we got there, I was furious. The kids were ecstatic to see their dad. There was no shortage of affection on their part, but I was very cool and very aloof. And "very" might be understating it about 2000%. 

Bless his heart. He had no idea what was brewing.

Honestly, there was a lot going on under the surface. Isn't there always? I was coming off of a hard week with my dad and the entirety of his illness. I'd driven 2000+ miles with three kids by myself, and I was thoroughly exhausted on many different levels. I'm not making excuses but I am suggesting that my defenses were down and I wasn't very spiritually alert when I started agreeing with things I knew weren't true.

John and I eventually found some time to talk and I confessed all the disappointment I was pinning on him. All the agreements I'd made. And the subsequent vows. 

Here's the thing: I think we have a pretty good marriage. We communicate well. We respond to each other, we forgive and move on. Neither of us like it when we get off-track so we try to get back on track quickly. It has taken some time after admitting all of this though for him to come around. That's fair. It was a lot to dump on him. 

The challenge for me this week is not to pick that blame back up. To not feel sorry for myself for not getting to go on this trip. To acknowledge that I'm still sad and disappointed yet not wallow in self-pity. To trust that God is in control of all things and to not hold a grudge towards Him when he doesn't give me what I want. I admit I've already failed at all of the above more than once.

I want my heart to stay soft instead of hard though. I want my friends to have an amazing time of rest and refreshment and FUN this weekend. I want to be alert so that when the enemy comes prowling around whispering lies and looking for agreements (and sooner or later he will) I will recognize what's going on and stay off of that path.

'Cause I've walked it and it isn't pretty. 

(Note: I came across the terms "agreements" and "vow" while reading some of John Eldredge's books years ago, and I must give proper credit to him. For those of you that think spiritual warfare is "kooky" just know that I did too for many, many years. I'm now convinced it is very real and there are few things the enemy loves more than for us to be ignorant of it.)

SAD (in all caps!)

Hello blog friends.

I'm so happy to report that I am home from my marathon road trip. Overall it was good, but now that I'm home I'm feeling like I need a vacation from my vacation!

I'll post pics soon. I have lots and need a good chunk of time to sort and download them.

Until then, here is one picture I want to share.

It's my bear bell. (Tiffani, now do you see why I get a kick out of the name of your blog?)

I usually attach it to my belt loop or my pack when I hike. The bell jingles while you walk and supposedly makes enough noise to alert a bear to your presence and cause them to flee. When not hiking, the bell is stored in that handy little mesh bag that has a magnet at the end to keep the bell silent.

Of course hiking with kids who make a lot of noise might have the same effect. Kids are a little harder to silence though.  

I have a healthy respect for bears and definitely feel a little more secure hiking with my bell. And I guess it works since I've never seen a bear while hiking.  

I did see a bear last week though. Actually, I saw two bears. A mama and her cub. We were riding a train from Durango to Silverton (more about that when I post pics) and my sister-in-law glanced up at a grassy hillside and saw the bears sitting on a large rock. She pointed for all of us to see and right after she pointed, the mama bear turned to the cub and they both took off running uphill. It all happened so quickly that none of us got a picture. Argh! It was so great though! That brings my bear count up to four, all of which I've seen from the safety of a car, a train, or a cabin! Just the way I prefer it.

I threw my bell in my suitcase when I was packing because the owner of the cabin we rented for the week emailed us to say that he had seen a bear while hiking a few weeks prior to our arrival. I thought it would be a good idea to wear it if we went on a hike.

You know what? We didn't hike. In fact, this afternoon while I was unpacking I picked that bear bell up and realized that I haven't hiked one single time this entire summer. If you've read this blog for any length of time you know I LOVE to hike. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I went. 

That makes me more sad than you can know.

It's definitely something I need to remedy. Soon. Probably when school starts and I have more time to myself than I know what to do with.

Looks like my goal of hiking another 14'er this summer/fall isn't going to happen. That's just downright depressing. And SAD (in all caps!)