Saturday, February 28, 2009

The Nice Mom

Ya'll, I'm just not a big fan of playdates. One of my daughters has a friend that calls her every. single. day. asking to play. My girls get home from school SO late in the day that it's just not possible to schedule a playdate on school days and still survive homework/dinner/showers. That leaves weekends, and I've told you before that we are STINGY with our weekends. We made the decision years ago that Sunday is Family Day and it's family only, so that really only leaves Saturdays to play.

Today, I gave in to the endless whining and begging said yes to a playdate for Abbey. 

I might as well have given her a hundred dollar bill and turned her loose in the toy store. She was thrilled. 

The girls are having a blast. They've been playing in the basement, in the girls' room, they've had a tea party and now they're outside in our teepee-tent (the snow we got yesterday melted and it's chilly, but gorgeous outside!)

John got some work done while they were playing and I took a nap and finished my library book! AMAZING. 

I only said no to making mud pies and the EZ-Bake oven. (Does anyone else cringe when their kids want to pull out the EZ-Bake???)

I'm pretty sure I'm going to get the Nicest Mom Ever award today. And I'm quite sure that my daughter will be wondering where her "really nice mom" went when she asks me for a playdate next weekend. 

How do you guys handle playdates? Are you a fan?

22 comments:

Amber said...

I'm not good about playdates at all. We seem to stay so busy, that we end up being pretty stingy with our family time, too.

Hooray for you for getting a nap in!

Deidre said...

No, I am not a fan of playdates at all. In our old neighborhood, I was convinced all the other moms were outside whispering when I drove by, "There goes THAT MOM. She doesn't like people". Ha! It's not that I don't. I'm just really stingy with our time and even more so now that E is in school ALL DAY. Seems we never have time together.

And, yes I cringe when my girls want to pull out the EZ Bake. Yuck! Now, we have a new cupcake maker to add to the madness.

Wendy Anderson Schulz said...

I actually am a big fan of playdates, but I do really limit them. Friday afternoon is our normal playdate day. I like playdates because I appreciate getting to know the kids Sarah goes to school with. I try to make a fun snack and I always sit down with the girls to eat it. I feel like I learn so much about who Sarah plays with all day at school and who her peer influences are. Sarah is a bit shy about making friends at times, so I think having friends over for her to play with one on one really helps her confidence at school.

chickadee@afamiliarpath said...

i'm getting better at it. i'm still not a fan of overnight playdates and since i don't let my girls spend the night places, i feel like i have to do it every once in a while.

i used to hate playdates, but as they've gotten older i don't mind as much. i still don't do them for my son though.

outside playdates are the best though. i try to wait for nice weather to ask people over.

lisa@littlesliceoflife said...

Not a fan at all. I just hate having to make all the arrangements. Why does it seem so complicated? I don't mind now that Hayley is older and she makes all the plans. All I have to do is drive.

Gretchen said...

When i can nap and/or quilt/blog/scrap, it's worth it. Doesn't get good until they are okay entertaining themselves. And I really have to watch my 'tude when it comes to children who don't have any manners--and there seem to be a plethora.

But...I so know what you mean. Sometimes it's just nice to be the 4-pack in our nest.

Judy said...

I never was a huge fan of play dates. I was unsure of the home they were in a lot of the times and I didn't like how they acted towards each other when they had a friend over. I was passionate about their relationship with each other. They did have a few over the years. I don't think a lack of play dates is on their "deprived childhood list". :)

Tiffani said...

it depends. we have our "faithfuls" that we play with and we know them inside out and upside down...i know i can treat them like my own kids and vice versa...

there are a few however...that i just DO NOT like to play with and will avoid it all costs and the good thing is..my kids don't like playing with these particular kids either...they are just OVER the TOP!

So, I do appreciate a playdate when it keeps my kids entertained, like yours did...b/c I don't hear a peep!

JanMary said...

We don't have the term "playdate" here - guess we just call it "having a friend round to play" (which doesn't have the same compactness!).

Our kids have so much on, that the days we are home straight from school we (I) quite enjoy the relative peace.

We do have friends over - about one a term per child. Now my daughters are 11 and 9 it is much easier - they don't expect the same entertainment. Sometimes I let them both have a friend over on the same day - gets it "over with" and less rows about someone feeling left out.

My son is just 4, so the few times we have had friends over I find it a lot more stress/work.

But sometimes it is worth it to get the "Mum of the Year" feeling!

Jennifer said...

I thought it was just me. My kids do have playdates with our next door neighbors and their two best friends from school. However, I don't look forward to them. My 9 year old daughter would have her two best friends over everyday if allowed. However, my son likes to come home from Kindergarten and relax with just the two of us. Yes, as they are getting older.....the playdates can be beneficial because the kids entertain themselves:) Is that bad to write?? Anyway, I find that when it is the four of us....I am more comfortable. This is an area I thought I needed to work on or pray about. I find as I get older, though....that this is the way God made me and I quess I am more of an introvert than I thought!! I am trying to accept this and not worry about it as much as I have in the past.

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

So I'm not yet to this point, but I am soaking in all of the comments here so I can be prepared! Savannah has such an outgoing and social personality that I know it will come up as she gets older.

And I'm going to take your warning about the EZ-Bake oven...that might be one thing Savannah never gets for Christmas - does that make me a horrible mom? :)

Carpoolqueen said...

I have neighbor kids (from 3 dif families) that just show up at my door (and walk on in) about 4 days a week.

I usually let them stay for an hour or so unless homework's not done or my kids say they want to be by themselves (which is not often). My kids are very easily sucked in by the tv and/or computer, so having kids over makes it easier for me to say "go play". (You'd think I'd say that anyway, but sadly, no.)


I try to avoid anyone coming over on Sunday, but I can't always help it. I won't turn them away, but I kick them all outside.

Lori Motl said...

Our EZ-Bake oven is hidden in the garage!

Kendra said...

I LOVE the EZ-Bake oven! My parents STILL have mine! I used to make tons of delicious desserts cooked under that light bulb.

I would LOVE to have play-dates. The more the merrier! We've got to get friends here because Sam is always begging us to play with him. He really shouldn't be the oldest child he loves playing with older kids so much. Playdates just mean I get a break from having to play Wizard of Oz or his other silly games.

Trish said...

Okay, so this is going to come across as strong but I HATE the word "playdate". It drives me nuts.......mostly because I cannot stand the suburban myth that we must schedule every aspect of our childrens lives, giving them no oppurtunity for boredom or down time.
That said, we have kids over here often. As a matter of fact, right now I have three extra's. It is usaully kids that are in our "close circle", ones whom i've known since birth, as is the case today. I certainly don't mind this because they are like family to us.
We rarely, if ever, have kids over during the week and I never say yes to last minute pleas of having a friend over..........

So at this very moment, Ben and his life long friend Maddie are in the Kitchen making GUM (from a kit) and if you think the Easy Bake oven is bad, consider GUM!

Kecia said...

I'm fasting from facebook right now. You might say I've given it up for Lent. But since I've never "done Lent" before, and I don't want to make promises I can't keep, and Easter's a LONG way away, I'm not saying that.
Play dates are much easier for me now that I home school. I'm enjoying home schooling, but time away is good too...
I love the blessing bowl! I'm going to have to look into that.
Did your Ark. family get snow yesterday? We didn't. :(

Moriah @ Please Pass the Salt said...

Well, I only have to compete with preschool a couple of hours each week, so I'm still LOOKING for playdates. LOL.

And hilarious about the EZBake. I'll just put that on my "do not buy" list for the forseeable future.

Gina said...

*sigh* I would love it if my kids asked to have friends over once in a while. That would mean that they had friends. But really, they have each other to pick at and fight with- and they seem OK with that.

Recently the neighbor kid has started coming over and playing. They all play together in the yard.

Actually, the truth is that I am glad my kids like to play with each other. They each have a couple of friends- but mostly they just want to be with "ourselves". I'm good with that. Especially since not everyone raises their kids with the same manners or values. And other people's kids can be HIGHLY annoying. I suspect that mine are to other people....

I'm all with Trish on the term "playdate". Maybe because we were raised in the same house?

Michelle@Life with Three said...

Hey, girl! I'm back! :)

I was so glad to read this -- because I struggle with this same issue. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who finds playdates a little difficult.

My daughter has a friend who is always asking for a playdate. But, it does seem like a lot during the school week. By the time my daughter gets home, she's so tired (even though she won't admit it). And, it doesn't leave enough time for the homework, dinner, shower thing, as you mentioned. A lot of times, she melts down in the midst of the playdate because she hasn't had any down time all day long.

Stephanie @ My Answered Prayer said...

Yes and no...Love that L has someone to play with and doesn't keep saying mom every 5 mins but my house is always a wreck whenever they leave.

Christen said...

I used to think I wanted to be THAT mom who baked goodies for all the friends and our house was the hang out, then I had kids! I like to hoard my kids to myself! They spend all day at school with peers, it doesn't leave a ton of time at home to teach them all the stuff I want them to know to be prepared and a well rounded person when it's time to fly from the nest. So we are very choosy of how/who they spend their free time with. During the summer I let them play much more, school days no, weekends occasionally. Sundays are off limits here too. I don't use the term playdate either, ugh sounds babyish/snobbish/dorkish.

Angie said...

(Sorry this is so after-the-fact... I'm catching up.)

We're not fully into the play date thing yet since Emma's in preschool and hasn't caught on yet. EXCEPT... for the girl we carpool with. They want playdates all. the. time. and I'm not a fan. It's stressful and the mess is unimaginable. But more than that, I'm really struggling with some of the things this friend is teaching Emma. I don't know how to handle it. My instinct is to just cut it off, but I don't know how to do that and keep carpool in tact and a good relationship with the other mom in tact. Hmm. So right now play dates are causing me a bit of anxiety.

And "playdate"... yeah. I'm with the others. I feel weird saying it. I never had a "playdate" with friends until Emma hit preschool. But we "got together" with a lot of friends. You know?