Home and Happy and FULL!

Good Monday morning! It's snowy and cold here this morning and I was thinking that a delayed start to our school day would have been a nice surprise. That didn't quite work out the way I'd hoped it would though. I am thankful for some snow--we're way behind snowfall totals for this time of year.

We drove in from Arkansas on Saturday. It was nice to have yesterday to get unpacked and caught up on rest...and laundry...before we entered into the craziness of this week. My week really isn't crazy, it's just pretty full. Full of good things.

We had a perfect visit with our families over Thanksgiving. We spent the first part of the week with my family and the second half with John's. We love them so much and hate that we live so far from them, but for now this place is home and I dearly love it. Sometimes I wonder if that might change one day...only God knows.

I always feel so torn when we go to Arkansas. On one hand we feel at home in that place and it would be wonderful to live close to our family and friends there, but we also love it here in Colorado and feel very much at home. As I was sitting in church yesterday (I love Advent) I was thinking about home and all that it encompasses and I guess I decided we have the best of both worlds. To feel at home in two places is a beautiful thing.

I have much more on my mind this morning but my to-do list is calling! I'll check back in soon and I hope to post some pictures! Happy Monday. Here's to a great week!

Well, hello!

Oh yeah. I have a blog.

I was in Arkansas for a week. And I intentionally didn't take my laptop with me. I think there's such a thing as being too plugged in. I have some thoughts stirring on that topic that I want to share when I get what's rolling around in my brain sorted out a bit more so lucky you! Anyway, no laptop meant no blogging. Not that there was much time to blog. I spent a lot of time with this little guy.

He's sooooooo cute and soooooo good. And he sleeps with at least one hand up by his face unless he's swaddled. It's adorable.

I also got to spend time with family. I love my family.

And I love the Razorbacks, but what a disappointing loss to Alabama last week. Ugh.

I got in late Wednesday afternoon about an hour before I had to be at church and I've pretty much been on the go since. Sadly, this weekend is feeling kinda full instead of long and lazy which is how I prefer weekends to feel. It's full of good stuff though so I'll roll with it. So much to say and so little time to blog. Y'all are going to get an earful when my pace slows a bit.

The winner of the book giveaway is #17:
HisGirlAmber

I'll get it mailed to you this week friend. Congrats!!!!!! Happy Weekend everyone.

Home: Part Two

If you missed Part I, you can read it here.

Several years ago I shared the amazing story of our home in Arkansas selling so quickly with a group of friends and after I'd finished, one friend asked: "Oh, do you just LOVE your home in Colorado?" And I cringed. Because honestly? No. I don't love it. Some days I struggle to even like it.

Most people think that's such a weird thing to say. Some have even asked why in the world we would buy a home we didn't love. It's a fair question.

After we sold our home in Arkansas, we began to quickly search for a home to buy (or rent) in Colorado. We had a nice down payment, but with houses selling for double/triple what we were used to, we were looking at a pretty large mortgage. We'd also taken a pay cut to move to Colorado. It didn't make much sense to move to a more expensive area and live on less money, but we were confident that God was in this move and that he would work out all the details. But we also knew we had to make wise decisions.

We had been out here to visit a few times and had looked at few houses with a realtor. When our Arkansas house sold, we decided to make an offer on a house we had looked at and liked on our most recent visit. It had been on the market several months and so we made a reasonably low offer. That very day, another buyer made a better offer and got the contract.

Our friends who lived here (the one that John was going to co-pastor with) called the next day and said that another house a few streets over in the same neighborhood had JUST been put on the market and the price was right. They asked if we wanted them to go look at it for us and we said yes. Armed with a digital camera they checked it out and reported back, and basically chose our house for us.

The sellers were motivated and were willing to close quickly and so we made an offer on the house-we-now-call-home SIGHT UNSEEN. Just so you know we're not completely crazy, we made our offer contingent upon approval once we arrived in Colorado. It's a pretty unorthodox way to buy a house, and I don't really recommend it.

Before we made the offer we knew that:
This house was small. Very small.
The bathrooms were carpeted. Carpeted.
The backyard wasn't finished and needed lots of work.
The basement wasn't finished either, which cut the livable space of this house in half.
Those seemed to be the biggest cons. The biggest pros were that:
This house had central air conditioning! Few houses here have it, and I'm immensely grateful ours does.
It was in a great location.
It was in a great school district.
It had curb appeal and was in a cute neighborhood with lots of kids.
And it had sidewalks. Our former neighborhood didn't and it's so much more fun for kids to ride bikes when they don't have ride in the street.

We also knew that the price was right and we strongly desired to own instead of rent. Plus, the mortgage (though double the mortgage of our previous home) was going to be cheaper than most of the rentals we had looked into. Our thought was that we could live here a few years and sell it when we found a home we really loved. I suppose we could have bought a bigger, nicer house from the get-go but we would definitely have been strapped financially. Buying this house felt like a wise financial move.

Little did we know that a year after moving here, John would resign from his job and our income would be drastically reduced. I cannot tell you how many times I've thanked God for leading us to a house that we could afford. If we'd chosen differently, I have no doubt that our financial state would be very, very different at this point in our lives. And also, if we'd chosen differently, I would probably be a working mom. Please don't hear me saying there's anything wrong with that. It's just not our desire for our family at this time in our lives.

October will mark seven years of calling this house a home. And after seven years, I still don't love this house but I do like it a little more. But that's Part III. Finding contentment.

[Side note: The realtor we worked with here to buy our home was so amazed by the way God seemed to work out every small detail of our selling/buying that he ended up visiting our church. We became friends, his family became church members, and though they moved a few years ago we still keep up with them. Cool, eh?]

Home: Part One

I've had a post stirring about my feeling and attitudes towards our home here in Colorado for several months now and yesterday I finally sat down to try to put my thoughts down on (virtual) paper. As I was typing, I realized this is likely going to have to be a series of posts. So I want to start at the beginning. This is long, but I promise you that it's a GREAT story.

Sometime late in the summer of 2003, John and I knew we'd be moving to Colorado for him to co-pastor a church with a college/seminary friend. It was an exciting prospect on many fronts, and we both knew that God was leading us here.

We had looked at houses in Colorado on one of our visits out here and were reeling from sticker shock. Home prices were double, even triple+ what we paid for our very nice home in Arkansas. We knew we'd have to sell ours before we could even consider buying a home in Colorado.

The tricky part was that we couldn't put our home in Arkansas on the market until John announced his resignation from our church. And he wasn't ready to resign until about a month before our desired move day.  All of that meant that the window of time we had to list/sell our home was very small. And not only did we have to sell our home in Arkansas, but we had to find one to buy in Colorado in that same time window. It's fair to say I did my share of freaking out!

In that wait period, we began to get our home ready to sell. I also began to pray that God would send buyers. My specific prayer was that someone would walk up off the street, love our home and buy it.

Fast forward to the Sunday that John shared with our church that our family was moving to Colorado. It was extremely emotional--the kind of day where you're just a big, blubbering, swollen mess. We loved that church and those people so much. We still do. It was a hard, hard day but it felt good to get our news out in the open and to know that we had the support of those who loved us. Whenever anyone asked me how they could pray, I asked them to pray God would sell our house quickly!

Monday was another emotional day for us. John took Tuesday off and while trying to process all of our emotions, we did rote things like clean the oven and the garage with the intent of putting a For Sale by Owner sign in our front yard on Wednesday morning.

Tuesday evening, John went outside to mow. He came back inside a few minutes later with a funny look on his face and said, "Mer, there are some people here who want to look at our house." Huh? What? I was in the middle of bathing three small children and hadn't cleaned up the dinner dishes and was not in a show-my-house state of mind. We asked the nice folks to give us 20 minutes and we did a whirlwind pick-up. The couple came inside, looked things over, and since it was getting dark outside they asked if they could come back the next morning.

It was hard to sleep that night. Up to that point, John and I had thrown around some numbers and settled on an asking price for our home. It was a high number because we wanted to leave room to negotiate.

Well, the sweet little couple came back the next morning to look at our house again. They were from New Mexico but their son and his family lived down the street from us. Their son had recently been diagnosed with MS and they wanted to move closer to his family to be a part of their support system. The town we lived in was a small one and news travels fast in small towns. They'd heard that John had resigned and although there wasn't a For Sale sign in our yard, they thought they'd walk up our sidewalk, ring the doorbell, and ask if our house was for sale.

Here's where the story gets really, really good. Miraculous even.

They loved our house and that very day they made us a cash offer. For our asking price. Later that afternoon we sat around our kitchen table and signed a contract with this sweet couple and because they were paying cash, we set a closing date for two weeks later. After the contract was signed, they asked if we could pray together around the table. Are you believing this?

They knew all about our move to Colorado, and they were so supportive and interested in our ministry here. They were also really taken with our kids. After we signed the contract and prayed, they told us that they knew how cold it got in the winter in Colorado, and right then and there they handed us a fat check and told us that they wanted to bless our kids with really nice winter coats.

Do you know anyone who has a better home-sale story than this??? It's not lost on me that God answered my VERY specific prayer. So if you ever doubt asking for specific things, let this encourage you to be bold!


We went to church later that night and a sweet little old lady named Martha Lou (who I loved very much and who resides in heaven now) came and sat next to me and said, "Meredith, are you sure that it's God's will for you and Brother John (that's what they called him) to move to Colorado?" I got the biggest grin on my face and said, "Well, Miss Martha Lou, God sold our house for us today." And she nodded and said, "Who can argue with that?"

These thoughts struck me in the moments that followed:
The miraculous selling of our home (three days after John resigned!) was so important on so many levels. It gave us the confidence to know that God was really in this. That it was His leading. That we were on the right track. It gave our church family in Arkansas the same assurance. Our own families were sad about us moving so far away from them, but the timing and circumstances of the selling of our home bolstered their faith and confidence too. And it did the same for the church family awaiting us in Colorado.

In the time that remained, we were able to find a home to buy in Colorado and our closing date was set for just days after our arrival date in Colorado (Part II). Stay tuned...

Random CatchUp

I've been away from home for about 10 days now and I seem to have forgotten how to write a blog post. I've tried 4-5 times to come up with something blog-worthy but keep coming back to random stuff, so I guess this post is part catch-up and part random.

The kids and I are en route to Colorado. We're not heading home though--we're heading to the Durango area for our family vacation. We're side-tripping through one of our favorite places tomorrow--Santa Fe, NM-- to meet up with John. I'm as excited about getting to go there as I am about vacation! I'm also very ready to see my husband. We've been apart about 10 days. It's not the longest we've ever been separated, but it's definitely too long. I've missed him terribly.

Thanks to all of you who have emailed to ask about my dad. My visit with him was good. Hard, but good. He's not really any better, but he's not any worse either so that's good. I spent most of my time playing nurse and taking him to his doctor appointments. I was thankful I could be there, but honestly, it was all a bit overwhelming.

I loved my time in Arkansas though because I just really love Arkansas. The weather was unseasonably cool and I only had one or two encounters with the suffocating humidity. I left this morning and realized that I didn't get one single mosquito bite while there. That is quite remarkable since mosquitos love me! (Let's be clear though--it's not a mutual affection.)

John and I think/talk about moving back every once in awhile (usually after a trip to Arkansas). I love Colorado and I don't know if my heart could handle not seeing the mountains every day, but it's so hard being far away from family. I tell John that if we ever do move back I'll absolutely have to have a house with a swimming pool. Seriously, it's the only way you can survive the summers! It's a deal-breaker for me. :)

My kids have been having fun with their cousins (and are still having fun since we're all traveling together to CO!) and I was so grateful for all of my family's help with them while I was away from them last week.

Yesterday the kids and I made a Walmart run (you know you MUST shop at Walmart if you're from Arkansas, right?) and we picked up a new game to take with us to Durango. Can't wait to try playing it. It's Scrabble Slam. Anyone played it? I'm excited to try it. I was also looking for LCR, a dice game that my cousin taught us to play last Christmas. Anyone played that one? I can't seem to find it anywhere but online. Was hoping to pick it up on the way. Anyone know where I might find it??? If I can't find it I may buy Farkle instead. 

After Walmart, we ran by Sonic because it was hot and it was happy hour and those two things just go hand in hand. The car hop reached to hand me a cherry slush and spilled it all over the inside of my van and all over ME. It was a sticky mess. I cleaned things up immediately, but today I noticed a few places that I missed. Ugh.

Had a really sad thought today while driving through Oklahoma (land of the worst cell phone coverage so far on this trip). Once we get home, my kids will only have 1.5 weeks of summer left. It's really gone by way too fast. Hoping we can really just lay low and fill those last few days with lots of nothing.

Can't wait to get home and see our new front yard! A friend from church repaired our sprinkler system and laid some sod for us last week and all my neighbors have been sending me messages on Facebook telling me how wonderful it looks. I'm excited to see it for myself! John sent me a pic from his cell phone but it's not quite the same.

Speaking of cell phones. I really want a new phone with a QWERTY keyboard. I love texting but I hate texting on my phone because I have to scroll through all the letters. A-n-n-o-y-i-n-g and p-a-i-n-f-u-l-l-y  slow. 

I don't know when I'll post again because I don't know if our cabin has internet. Actually, I don't think I'd mind being unplugged for awhile. That's actually my idea of a restful vacation.

So I guess you'll see me when you see me! Have a great week!

A Quick Hello...

Good morning from rainy NWA (that stands for Northwest Arkansas in case you're not from The Natural State and need some clarification). The internet connection here has been spotty at best, but it seems to be working right now, so I wanted to pop in and say hello.

I'm sipping coffee this morning and looking out at the rain falling on Beaver Lake. It's lovely. Today is one of those dark, stormy mornings that just begs you to sleep in.

There's not much rest for the weary around here though. My dad is getting 3 different intravenous medications which he takes at SEVEN times throughout the course of the day. That means lots of clock-watching and alarm-setting for me. I've become quite the pro at hooking his meds and tubing up, and I've been wondering if I should apply for nursing school when I return to Colorado. I think I would like the science part of it all, but I'm not a big fan of guts and blood. Not to mention math. So...on second thought...maybe I'll just stick to being a stay-at-home-mom.

Speaking of being a mom...

I miss my kids. A lot.

They're in South Arkansas with their grandparents this week. We'll reunite on Friday just in time to drive back to Colorado and meet up with their dad for our family vacation in Durango. They're having a lot of fun--despite one vomiting episode (on Mimi's brand new carpet) and their swimming plans getting rained out. 

I miss John a lot too. He and Jack-the-beagle are home in CO keeping each other company. And yeah, I miss the ole beagle too. 

I feel like our family is so splintered right now. I'm thankful it's temporary.

So...

On tap for today is a visit to the oncologist. I've been to that clinic with my dad a few times now and honestly, it is THE most depressing place on earth. It's hard to see so many sick people come in and out. 

Ugh.

Anyway, I'm hanging in there. I know that it's important and good that I'm here.

Thanks so much for all of your sweet responses and prayers on my last post. I'm feeling your prayers!

The bad list...

I'm leaving tomorrow for Arkansas. I've got at least a dozen written lists going, but this one has been playing on a loop in my mind for days...

I hate cancer. I hate pancreatic cancer. I hate it's treatments and their nasty side effects/complications.

I hate that my dad is so sick from all of the above.

I hate having divorced parents, and the subsequent responsibility that weighs on me as a daughter and a caregiver.

I hate that the above statement sounds selfish and will probably hurt people I love.

I hate living 1,000+ miles away from my family.

I hate the circumstances that are leading me to Arkansas tomorrow. Hate that I'm going to have to be away from my husband and children. I'm a daughter, yes, but I'm also a wife and a mom. (My kids are going with me, but they're staying with family in AR while I stay with my dad).

I hate that I feel pulled in so many different directions.

I hate that I haven't felt very "present" with my kids this summer. And that the lazy days of summer that we all love so much have felt few and far between.

I hate insurance companies.

I hate not being able to nap or rest when I actually get the chance. My mind just never stops running and/or worrying.

I hate feeling emotionally exhausted all. the. time.

I hate that everything related to this feels like a crisis.

I hate that my kids are going to have to wait 2.5 weeks to jump on the trampoline we bought as a surprise for them. 

I hate that I'm having to pack for Arkansas AND our vacation while constantly wondering if it's even going to work out for me to get to go.

I hate that I feel so fake when I tell people "I'm good!" when they ask how I'm doing. 

I hate that I feel like I'm "too much" for my close friends who get the real answer to that question. (Thanks you guys for listening...and you know who you are.)

I hate that my emotions are always so close to the surface and that when the dam breaks, I have a hard time stopping it.

I hate that all of this is out of my control. 

I was reminded during church on Sunday that God is the only thing I can fully trust in. Relationships will fail you. Your body will fail you. Riches will fail you. Everything in this world that promises to sustain you will ultimately disappoint. But God is faithful to those He loves...and that's what I'm putting my trust in today. 

15 Minutes

I'm giving myself 15 minutes to empty my head of all the things I want to say.

Ready, set go.

I'm leaving in the morning for Arkansas. Bright and early. Well, early but not bright.

I spent some time today packing. I'm am queen of the carry-on. I can be gone a week and get everything I need in one bag. (My husband loves me even more for this!) I hate checking bags. Especially when I don't have a direct flight. I'm PARANOID that my luggage won't arrive at my final destination, so once again, I've got everything I need until Saturday in my carry-on. Woohoo!

I'll be home sometime Saturday night.

VBS begins on Monday so I'm going to hit the ground running. Especially since I'm helping with VBS this year. I swore I'd seen the last of those days, but I really had no good reason to say no this year. All of my kids will be there and I have lots of free time during the school year so I decided to give it a go. The perk is that I'm working with my sweet friend, Dana, and another guy who seems super laid back. I'm actually very excited about it.

I'm NOT excited about getting out the door early on those days. My kids have been sleeping until 8:30/9:00AM every day. (All of you guys with toddlers and babies--there IS hope that you can sleep past 6AM again one day). We're going to need to leave a little after 8:30 each morning. Man, I'm thinking that's going to be rough. Maybe John can work on getting them up earlier while I'm gone this week.

Speaking of John. He's working from home most of the week. I'm thankful that his bosses are flexible like that. I'm also thankful for some dear friends who are entertaining my children while John has some meetings. You guys are THE BEST. Thank you!

I debated taking my laptop with me to Arkansas, but decided against it. I'll probably check in a time or two while I'm gone, but then again I may not. I'll see what I feel like.

I'm sad to miss out on a farewell party for Joanne tomorrow. I'm hoping someone blogs about it so I won't feel too left out...hint, hint.

Okay, my 15 minutes are up. I need to try to get some sleep! I actually have to set the alarm clock tonight. I never EVER set an alarm clock. I either get John to wake me up or wake up on my own. I don't even HAVE an alarm clock. I have to use my cell phone! 

I hope you all have a great week!

Spring Cleaning and Stuff

It was gorgeous here yesterday!

I unplugged from the computer and spent my day doing some spring cleaning. 

I've had the itch to really clean for awhile now, but have been so busy with other things that I haven't been able to jump in and tackle it. Yesterday I had the entire day at home (one of my favorite things) so I got up and got busy. I opened all the windows and let some fresh air inside and at the end of the day I felt like I'd accomplished a TON!

I don't know if you guys have ever intentionally unplugged for a day, but I am amazed at how focused I am when I'm not distracted by the computer. My goal since the first of the year has been to unplug one day a week. 

In other news...

I really think it's safe to say it's spring. We're supposed to see 76 today! My iris are coming up and I also saw buds on my lilac bushes. YAY! I'm not going to pack away all my fleece just yet though (more cold temps this weekend) but it looks like I can switch out the majority of our winter clothes for spring/summer ones. 

I've gotten totally sucked into American Idol this season all because of that Arkansas boy, Kris Allen. Until a month ago, I had never watched AI, but since I'm loyal to my home state and all the homies there, I decided to tune in and help Kris by voting for him. He's in the final three now AND going home to Conway for a parade this weekend. Any of you Arkansas peeps going??? (I totally would if I could).

I had a cup of yogurt yesterday that was out-of-this-world-delicious. It was this brand/flavor. I'm not a big yogurt girl, but I might be now. I just about died though when I read it had 14g of fat. Next time I'll buy the fat-free kind. 

About that grey/gray question? I googled it. Seems everyone in the world spells it grey except Americans. We use gray. I like grey better. And now I wish my previous post had been titled "Old Grey Mer". Anybody else read that and think of Meredith Grey?

Have I mentioned we have a four-day week? Today is my Friday. I am so happy about that!

Some of you have emailed me to ask about my dad. Thank you! He's doing okay. Not bad, but not great either. He had some complications last week...an infection from his port and a kidney stone. Coupled with chemo, that's made for some unpleasant days. If you want to pray for him, I know he'd be grateful. I would too.

One of the things on my to-do list yesterday was clip coupons. When my purse was stolen so were all my coupons, including the file that I've had for 15+ years. I felt so lost at the store last week without it. It seems silly to say that I miss my coupons, but I do. Starting over from scratch is a pain.

Sarah has a big project next week for which costumes are necessary. I know from experience (Will did this project last year) that the contents of the school costume box are extremely limited, so I've been gearing my costume-challenged self up for figuring something out for her to wear. Imagine my surprise and giddiness when she told me she'd chosen to be a guide and she gets to wear regular clothes!!! I love her even more for that decision.

I had a great mail day on Monday! My sweet friend, Joan, sent me a Starbucks gift card to replace the one that was in my stolen purse. Joan was my next door neighbor in Arkadelphia. She is one of the kindest, most giving people I've ever met. When I was pregnant with Abbey and so, so, so, SO sick, she made me mashed potatoes. (Joan, I'll never forget that!) She called me every day to check on me and one day she asked if anything sounded good to eat. I said, "yeah, mashed potatoes" and that sweet friend made me some and brought them over. She'd also do nice things like make John banana pudding (his fave!) and leave us meals in our fridge when we returned from trips. I miss her, and when I opened her note with the Sbux card, I just started crying.

I cried even harder when I opened the package from John's parents right after that. Inside was a new Vera Bradley bag. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and appreciation for all that John's parents do for us...and for ME. I have lots of friends that struggle in relationship with their in-laws, but I love mine dearly. They love me and have gone above and beyond to make me a part of their family. It was a special gift and I am so thankful. (I just tried to find a picture of my bag online and I can't...I'll show it to you another time, but trust me, it's CUTE!)

Four Christmases...and I'm not talking about the movie!

Four Christmases. That's how many we had this year. Christmas morning with the kids and John's parents. Christmas afternoon with the rest of John's family. Christmas at my sister's house, and Christmas at my dad's. It was slightly overwhelming.

Because this is a weblog, and because I like to document family stuff, here are some of my favorite pics from those four Christmases. Enjoy.

Incoherent Thoughts (Post road-trip edition)

We pulled into our driveway last night around 10:30 pm...I am tremendously glad to be home. I love our family, but I don't love traveling at Christmas.

I wasn't so thrilled to walk in and behold all of our Christmas decorations last night. My family thinks I'm Grinchy because I take down the tree and put everything away the day after Christmas. I would have taken it down before we left if I'd had time and if my family wouldn't have thought me heartless. It's coming down as soon as I can muster up the energy to do it. (I'm still in recovery mode after hours and hours of driving.)

I did have a new toy to play with on the trip. My dad gave me an early Christmas gift when I was in St. Louis for his surgery--a Garmin Nuvii (gps). Very cool. I had a blast watching the elevation changes and thought it was cool to watch the clock change when we crossed time zones. What can I say? I'm easily entertained.

There is nothing like sleeping in your own bed. NOTHING. And for some reason, coffee from our coffeepot tastes better too.

My sister loaned me a book to read in the car yesterday, and I couldn't put it down. After it got dark, I tried reading by the light of my cell phone, but John told me I was going to hurt my eyes and made me stop. (Grinchy, huh? I think he really just got tired of long conversationless hours and wanted me to talk to him.) Anyway, the book was The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. I finished it up a little while ago...what an amazing story. Have you read it?

People always ask me why we don't break such a long drive up into two days. We used to do that when our kids were smaller, but we actually prefer to drive it straight through. It's so disheartening to drive all day, unload the van, reload the van, and realize you have to get up and do it all over again the next day. We decided several years ago that it's just easier (and less expensive) to keep on driving.

I have many things I want to post (and soon) including pics of our trip, my New Year's Goals, an idea I have for the month of January, and more...but first I have to make a grocery run and get the Christmas stuff put away. Wish me luck.

Blessed...

Cousins, grandparents, turkey and dressing, Guitar Hero, a visit from dear friends, new clothes, ipods, puzzles, coconut cake (yum!), sausage balls, a Chihuahua named Mac, singing and dancing to the tunes of a pink guitar, smiles on kids' faces and joy in their parents hearts.

Yesterday was a good and blessed day.

We're loading up Minnie-the-van today to head to my sister's house in Northwest Arkansas for round two of Christmas. It will be different, but just as fun I'm sure!