SMP 2.23.15

SMP = Seven Minute Post

We've lived in Colorado for almost twelve years and you know what? Snow days NEVER get old. Our district called one for today and we've all loved the pace of this day. John and I worked from home today (he's still working, actually) and there's a lot to be said for working in your pajamas while sitting under your electric blanket.

I do feel a bit stir crazy though after three straight days of being indoors. Thankfully I have a hair appointment tomorrow that will get me out of the house...and out of my pajamas. If the roads are still icy tomorrow I will walk to my appointment. That is how desperate I am for a haircut. 

Sounds like lots of our Arkansas friends and family have snow (or ice) this week too. My sister sent me a video of her four-year old playing outside in the "blizzard". A couple of inches of snow is definitely blizzard-like weather when you're four.

Stay warm, everyone!

Ketchup

Ketchup = Catch Up

Our area is expecting a winter storm to move through today and tomorrow. I can't even tell you how happy this makes me. John and I made a quick Costco and grocery store run yesterday morning for snow day essentials (like hot cocoa and baking supplies) and I think half of Colorado Springs had the same idea--it was nuts! We are all settled in for a snowy weekend and now all we need is for the snow to begin. Forecasters continue to downgrade our snow totals but I think we could end up with at least a foot. I'm a little bit giddy about a weekend spent completely at home.

I realized while looking back at some photos on my phone last week that I am due for a "ketchup" here on the blog which has become a sort of family scrapbook for me over the years.

Here's some of what we've been up to lately.

Remember when I said January kicked my tail? I wasn't kidding. This was a picture of one of my to-do lists. I'm very visual and rely on hand-written lists (no electronic to-do lists for me) and a thick black Sharpie to strike through completed tasks. I've had to faithfully push through some busy months but you know what? I've had more white space on my calendar the past two weeks than I've had since mid-October which I've happily filled with hiking, catch-up dates with friends, and a good dose of alone time. Self-care at it's finest!

Will surprised us while we were in Arkansas over Christmas break by announcing his desire to attend college in Arkansas. We were kind of surprised he wanted to go so far away but his excitement was contagious so once we arrived back in Colorado, we started looking into a couple of different schools and making plans to visit. He and I traveled to Arkansas the last weekend in January to check out the University of Arkansas and Ouachita Baptist University.

I can't even begin to put that trip into words. It was amazing and I could tell you story after story after story of amazing things that fell into place for us. I really had hoped that John would take him on these visits but John insisted that I go, his reasoning being that my "mama" heart needed to see these places that my first born could potentially call home. In hindsight it was exactly as it needed to be and I was so grateful for that time with Will. We got to see lots of family while we were there too--it was an exceptional trip in so many ways!

He's made his decision! I'm trying to be respectful of Will's desire not to blab it all over the internet so you'll just have to stay tuned until he grants me permission to share.

John and I are in complete agreement that what he has chosen is the best fit for Will and are excited about this next step for him. Our excitement has been countered with a few teary evenings around the dinner table just thinking how very different things will look for our family in the next six months.

I'm not sure whose bright idea it was to take a four-day trip just days before a big event I'd been planning but I returned home from Arkansas and jumped into the final countdown to our IF: Local event. Craziest week I've had in a long, long time!

Last year some friends and I got together for a weekend and streamed the IF: Gathering conference. It was such a catalyst for growth in each of our faith journeys that we wanted our church to host it for our community. I'm grateful for a lot of hard work from a team of people that made our event a reality. I'm still trying to put it all into words (it's a separate blog post for sure) but it was a really beautiful time. John's words are really the best I have to describe it: We simply set the table and invited women to join us. They came...and so did the Lord. 

The same weekend of IF, Sarah had her Snowball dance at school. She was co-chair of the dance so she was REALLY busy for the week leading up to it. She went with a group of friends--that's just the way I like it.

I hate I don't have a picture of her dress--we found it by chance at Nordstrom Rack and it was BEAUTIFUL! I was cleaning up after IF and didn't get to be there for pictures. Sadness.

On February 10, Will turned EIGHTEEN!!! We took him out to dinner the night before his birthday and let him open his gift from us when we got back home.

He had some friends come over for dinner on his actual birthday. Will has really good friends and I love them all. It's going to be sad to see them all scattered around the country at different schools next year. 

Last Friday night we had a family Valentine dinner at home. John got each of the kids a little something and there was a little something for me as well (a necklace!) He is the most thoughtful husband and father. I am grateful for him every single day. 

I was with some friends last Friday and they asked what I was going to make for our family dinner that night. I laughed and said "SANDWICHES". My family requested paninis, which is really just a glorified sandwich, right? So yeah, I served sandwiches for our family Valentine dinner. And it was perfect.

John took me on a Valentine date the next night. We went to one of our favorite restaurants in Palmer Lake that was serving a four-course Valentine dinner. Deeeeeeeelicious. They even gave me a long-stemmed rose before the dessert course. We were home by 7pm which is just the way we like it.

 Last Sunday after church, I took this little cutie on a mommy-daughter date. Will and Sarah were off doing their own thing and she asked me to take her to Ulta and Bath and Body Works. She and two friends started an Instagram account where they review beauty products. I giggle a little bit because none of them wear much makeup so they mostly review lip balm and lotion and antibacterial gel and nail polish. Abbey had some money burning a hole in her pocket which she combined with coupons (cute AND smart, eh?) to stock up on goodies to review. Adorable. 

She got her braces put back on in January--round two! She'll get them on the bottom teeth in the next few weeks. She will also turn thirteen in about a month. I think I'm in denial...

I think that about covers what we've been up to lately. Life is good. Busy, chaotic, and full but GOOD. The snow has started falling here and it's beautiful. I see some cookie baking, hot tea, and some reading time in my immediate future. Happy weekend!

February Currents

Current Read: I just started Daring Greatly (a re-read for me) and last month I read The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst. Well, truth be told I bought the audio book and listened to the book since I was traveling and had quite a bit of time on airplanes. I like audio books until I reach for a pen to underline something. Yeah, that's slightly awkward.

Current Playlist: Lord, I Need You has been on repeat for weeks now...

Current Color(s): Red and denim.

Current Food: I'm just not in a food mood lately. I'm not motivated to cook or plan menus. Thank goodness for a husband who helps me in the kitchen. It's pretty fair to say he's handled most of the cooking lately. He's a keeper.

Current Favorite Favorite: I'm officially obsessed with this nail polish. L-O-V-E. It looks beautiful and lasts for at least a week (if you use the topcoat) and comes off with regular remover. Win-win-win! It's pricier than regular polish but hey, it's cheaper than a salon manicure!

Current Addiction: Podcasts. I think I mentioned last month that I'd share some of my favorites so here ya go--Coffee With Chris (Christine Caine), Smart People, TEDTalks and The Chalene Show.

Current Wish List: I want a new purse. I've been looking since before Christmas but I cannot find one that I like. I've decided I might be too picky.

Current Need: Oh man, I broke my scarf hanger and really need a new one. I grabbed a scarf before church on Sunday and the part that hangs over the bar completely broke off. Ummm, it's possible I may have pulled a little too hard.

Current Triumph: We will be filing our taxes in February! We typically file an extension (or two) every single year so you have no idea how huge this is for us. We have some outside pressure to get them done early this year and that pressure is spelled F-A-F-S-A . If you don't know what that is, consider yourself lucky.

Current Annoyance: It annoys me that social media creates a false sense of relationship. Just because someone knows stuff about you does not mean they that know you.

Current Blessing(s): I have a handful of friends that I am very close to--my inner circle, if you will--and I am beyond grateful for their influence in my life. They know me, they love me, they support me, and they keep me accountable to the things I have made priority in my life.

Current Outfit: Grateful for a slow day at home that finds me in workout clothes, no make up, and my hair in a messy ponytail! I can't even tell you how happy that makes me. 

Current Excitement: We celebrated Will's 18th birthday yesterday! So excited about some future plans he's making...but they're not mine to share quite yet.

I'm also excited about Valentine's Day. A little blue box (you know the one) arrived in the mail yesterday for me...but my husband is making me wait until 2/14/15 to open it...and it's killin' me.

Current Project(s): Having just wrapped up two big projects, I've purposefully kept my plate free of projects for the next several months and have been uber selective about what I am saying yes to. Being project-free feels very, very good!

Current plans for the day: I've worked a little, rested a little and I suppose I should begin to think about what's for dinner and making my carpool rounds.

Adios, amigos.

Saturday Six

1. I'm really good at these Saturday Six posts, ya know? It's about all I can manage these days. At the risk of being annoyingly repetitive, the month of January is kicking my butt. I had a mini-meltdown yesterday about my inability to stay on top of things this month. 

I stopped measuring my self worth by my level of productivity a long time ago, but that temptation creeps back in from time to time, especially when I'm dropping balls left and right. This week I dropped a lot of balls, y'all. Yet God reminds me (reminds us all, really) that I am enough.

2. A friend invited me to hike yesterday. My to-do list was looming and I was behind on way too many things but self-care trumped all of it and I went. There's nothing quite like a 5.5 mile hike through deep snow on a crisp, winter day to clear your heart and mind. I needed that time outdoors and that conversation with good friends. Hiking is restorative for me on so many levels. And views like this aren't too bad either.

 3. John suggested we go out for mexican food last night and who am I to turn down an offer of a meal I don't have to cook? My kids were all sitting on one side of the booth and I asked them if I could take their picture. All I wanted was a serious picture. This is the best I got. They didn't believe my threat to post it to social media.

4. I tried two new recipes this week and both were amazing! John asked me to make this Bouef Bourguignon (don't even ask me how to pronounce that). He went to the store for me and got all the ingredients so how could I say no? It was delicious. So was this Barbacoa beef. We used it to make burritos and burrito bowls. It was sooooooo yummy. We're a family of carnivores...happy carnivores. 

 

5. The quote above really captured my attention this week because I saw it play out right before my eyes. If God wants a thing to succeed, you can't mess it up.  We just have to get out of the way and trust that He is in the details and His plan will not be thwarted. This week, God completely reversed a decision that I had no hope of ever being reversed. That's vague, I know, but believe me when I say it was HUGE. I'm humbled, grateful, and still in awe. 

6. On tap today: I scheduled another meeting with myself this morning to knock out some big things on my to-do list. Later I need to run a few errands and return something to the mall. And I suppose I need to think about dinner for my people. I'd love to get in bed early and watch a movie or read. I adore Saturdays.

Six on Saturday

1. Good morning, blog friends. It's Saturday! That means I made it through another week--and thankfully this one was a lot easier than last. I'm still trying to find my rhythm this semester but things seem to be falling into place.

2. My friend and I hiked the Incline yesterday and I can sum it up in one word: treacherous. I'd heard reports that it was icy but I'm not a newbie. I've seen ice and snowpack on the Incline and I knew I could handle it. I was wrong. I've never seen ice like that. Thank goodness for Yaktrax. I'm not exaggerating when I say they saved my hiney yesterday. Regardless of trail conditions, it was a beautiful hike.

3. I love to hike. It keeps me sane. It keeps me balanced. And it keeps me active. Lately though, I've had some pretty significant knee pain when hiking. I was hoping it was just a matter of needing new shoes but I'm starting to believe it's a bit more involved than that. This getting older business is hard.

4. Remember in my Currents post when I shared that I'm trying to let annoyances go quickly? It seems that when I share that kind of stuff publicly, the challenge increases exponentially. (Hint: that's kind of why I do it--accountability). I've had SO SO SO many opportunities lately to let things go but I've also lost a few of those challenges. I love this quote. I'm happy with progress.

5. I discovered and have been listening to the Serial podcast this week. Oh my word. SO addicted. I love podcasts. I typically listen to one every afternoon while waiting in carpool line. I'll share some of my favorites soon!

6. On tap today: I scheduled a meeting with myself this morning to sit still and really focus on the details of our upcoming IF event that my church is hosting (local friends, it would thrill me if you joined us). Shopping for a dress for her Sarah's upcoming Snowball dance. My bi-monthly grocery shopping trip (ugh). I'm also hopeful I can squeeze a short nap or early bedtime in there.  

January Currents

Current Read: I'm finally reading Unbroken. I don't know why I haven't read it before now but it is SO good. I typically like to read the book before I see the movie so I'm hoping that the movie is still playing when I finish. That's extremely likely since I can't put it down.

(Please excuse my unmade bed)

Current Playlist: I'm loving Taylor Swift's new album. I tried so hard to get TS concert tickets for my girls for Christmas. Her Denver concert sold out in minutes. Sadness. Still holding on to hope I can find some before the September concert.

Current Color(s): Black and taupe-y brown.

Current Food: I've been craving cucumbers with hummus. And cookie dough. And pretzels. And other sugary-gluteny things that make me feel yuck-o. I'm going to start the 3 Day Refresh this weekend. I'm so ready to detox and get my eating back on track.

Current Favorite Favorite: I got this hat and a FlipBelt for Christmas and I am LOVING both! This hiker loves new hiking gear!

Current Addiction: Words With Friends. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee.

Current Wish List: I can't think of anything. Feeling very content right now.

Current Need: I think I need a personal assistant. That's what I actually get paid to do but right now the assistant needs an assistant. January is kicking my tail.

Current Triumph: I won my fantasy football league's championship and get to keep this sweet trophy for another year. That's back-to-back wins for my team, Blase of Glory!

(This plastic trophy is so much more amazing than this photo reveals)

Current Annoyance: Every month when I do my currents post, I get to this topic and sigh. The list of things that annoy me on a daily basis is long and I fight a pull towards negativity and pessimism every single day. Some days I'm victorious. Some days I lose. Lately, I've been on a losing streak. I've decided this year to choose a small goal to work towards each month. My January goal is to let go of annoyances quickly and/or quickly release the offense and the offender. Some annoyances are easier to let go of than others but the bottom line is that I'm a happier, healthier person when I do.

Current Blessing(s): A slow morning at home in my pjs. We have a weather delay this morning because of freezing drizzle. The weather derailed my hiking plans for today (super bummed) but right now I'm in my warm bed under my heated blanket with time to blog and read so I'm making the best of it!

Current Outfit: Pajamas. See above. 

Current Excitement: The weekend. This week has been intense.

Current Prayer(s): Our friend, Kara, is constantly on my heart and mind. She entered hospice at the end of December and she is soldiering through these remaining days with incredible courage, vulnerability and beauty. Please, please pray for her family.

Current Project(s): My church is hosting the IF Gathering next month so that is a huge thing on my plate right now. If you're local I would LOVE for you to join us. Here is the info link with registration information!

Current plans for the day: Tie up some loose ends with work, read, finalize my 2015 goals, write some thank you notes, maybe take a nap (I wish), make something warm and delicious for dinner and watch last night's episode of Parenthood. How's that for a nice, winter Friday?

SMP 1.8.15

Blogging has been on my to-do list for over a week. Maybe even longer than that. Being out of town for 12 days in December and being thrust into January upon my return has not been kind to my to-do list. It's been a one-step-forward-TEN-steps-back kind of week. Those are not my favorite kind of weeks!

We had a nice time in Arkansas over Christmas. We typically stay in Colorado for Christmas but this year we switched things up and spent time with both of our families in the "motherland", as my husband calls it. I was immensely grateful that we were able to fly instead of drive. I wasn't grateful for the 2.5 hour delay leaving Denver or the cancelled flight that delayed our return home by a day, but those are small things.

School started back a few days ago and we're all beginning to find our groove again. This is Will's last semester of high school--can't even find words for that--and I'm trying to savor these days with him at home knowing that change is right around the corner.

Happy 2015! I'm excited about what this year has in store!

Sunday Six

1. I woke up with a pounding headache this morning. I have myself to blame. I let my husband talk me into watching The Family Stone last night. It's one of our favorite Christmas movies but it always ends with me doing the ugly cry. That explains the headache. It also explains why my eyes are swollen to about five times their normal size, making me look as haggard as I feel. Awe. some.

2. Coffee is helping though. Coffee always helps.

3. I was in Arkansas most of last week. My mom's husband lost his battle with lung cancer and I went for the funeral and to spend a couple days with my mom. My sister and brother were there too and I think/hope we helped her get some things in order.

4. I stayed at my brother's house while there. There's nothing like being awakened first thing in the morning by a 3-year old singing "Let It Go" from Frozen. Trust me, it's angelic.

5. I am trying not to think of all that didn't get done last week in my absence. My to-do list is frightening. I see some late nights in my future. And coffee. Lots of coffee.

6. It's snowing here right now. Big, fluffy flakes. We haven't had a lot of snow this season so I'm happy to see it falling today. I really want to stay in bed and read and watch movies and nap, but that frightening list is taunting me. Happy Sunday, folks!

December Currents

Current Read: Well, guess what? I'm so happy to tell you that I've read not one, not two, but THREE books since my last post! Orphan Train was excellent. So was Freefall to Fly. And The Dinner? Eh. It was dark, but it kept my interest and that is huge. Earlier this week I started reading Touching Wonder, an Advent book that my husband wrote a few years ago. It's my favorite!

Current Playlist: Christmas music! Sometimes I start listening before Thanksgiving, but this year I waited. I have a good mix of old, new, traditional, and non-traditional stuff. I love it all!

Current Color(s): Gray, black, and brown. I actually like them all mixed together but I like them separate too!

Current Food: I can't get enough roasted spaghetti squash. Have you ever roasted one? It's SO easy. My favorite way to enjoy it is to heat about a cup of roasted spaghetti squash with a Tbsp or so of pesto and then add some rotisserie chicken and a sprinkle of feta on top. So delicious. It's been my go-to lunch almost every day this week.

Current Favorite Favorite: Not Your Daughter's Jeans. I've heard about these jeans for years but have never tried them on until two weeks ago. We were at the mall and I was determined to leave with a pair of great-fitting jeans and boy did I find them. These jeans are the BEST. So comfy, so well-made, and so flattering--especially for women of a certain age. Their tagline is: Look and feel a size smaller. I gotta tell you it's true. I got a lot of compliments this week when I wore them. They're pricey but I was grateful to find them on sale. I'd be willing to save up and pay full price though--I love them that much.

Current Addiction: Sweet & Spicy tea from Good Earth.

Current Wish List: I want some hiking poles, snowshoes, and a FlipBelt. Santa has been informed. I even went so far as to load up his cart on REI.com. I'm helpful like that.

Current Need: I NEED to clean my house. I haven't been home this much and it's insane how quickly a house can get cluttered and dirty when you're on the go! Desperately need to find some time this weekend to get it shaped up. It's going to be a family affair. We all pitch in around here!

Current Triumph: I hiked the Incline yesterday. It's an insane workout (2000 foot vertical gain in just under 1 mile) and you better believe I'm counting that as a triumph! The Incline has been closed for repairs for a few months and yesterday was the official re-opening. It was crowded but fun! There were news crews and photographers everywhere and I found this pic on one of the photographer's sites. I have no idea what I'm doing with my mouth but it cracks me up!

Current Annoyance: Rude people! I think this time of year either brings out the best in people or the worst. Sad to say that this week I saw more of the latter. Ugh. Another annoyance? Paying for 2-3 priority shipping only to have your items still not arrive 5 days later. Not cool USPS, not cool.

Current Blessing(s): Time with friends this week, receiving Christmas cards in the mail, and just simplifying some things this season that have brought calm and peace.

Current Outfit: Skinny jeans (never thought I'd love them but I do), boots, long sweaters and scarves have been my go-to's this week. 

Current Excitement: We have some of our favorite holiday parties coming up! This time of year is so fun!!! I'm also excited about seeing the movie "Wild" with my friend who got me to read the book. It released yesterday just not in Colorado Springs! We're waiting patiently for local movie times to be posted.

Current Project(s): Ironing out details for a church event in February and working on getting 100+ gifts packaged and mailed for work. Both are big (but fun) projects on my plate right now!

Current plans for the day: Find time to clean this house, do some meal planning, take a nap (I have goals, people!), finish up some online shopping, and hopefully squeeze a date night in since all three of our kiddos have plans this evening! 

SMP 12.3.14

SMP = Seven Minute Post

Good morning, dear neglected blog.

I've got exactly seven minutes before I need to jump in the shower and get ready for this day. I sometimes tell John, "Hey, I'm jumping the shower" and he always always always replies, "Hey, why don't you just step in the shower; jumping is hazardous". He's a funny one.

My day today is full of errands and meetings and some Christmas shopping thrown in. I like Christmas shopping! I'm getting close to finishing all that up--hooray!

We still don't have our Christmas tree up. We carved out a block of time last weekend and it was the most frustrating experience. Exactly one dozen lights on our pre-lit tree were working. We decided to re-string the tree with lights (too much work to cut the old ones off) and I sent John out three times ro buy lights...lights...and more lights. After stringing 1500 lights, I plugged in the last strand to finish the top and they ALL went out. I was MAD. And I was FINISHED. We took the whole tree down and returned the lights and went the other night to buy a new pre-lit tree. Which is still sitting in the box in my entryway.

That's how we roll.

I cancelled some stuff we had going on tonight so we could put that ding-dang tree up as a family! In between kid activities and Christmas parties we just haven't had a night we were all home and that's an activity that we do as a family!

So...that's not all I intended to write about this morning but my seven minutes are up and I must shower and get my day going. Happy Hump Day, y'all!

Six on Sat

{I really need help with catchy blog post titles.}

1. This was one of the most productive weeks I've had in ages. I crossed so many things off of my to-do list at work and I even found myself with a few rare hours at home one day which I used to clean and scrub. I love the feeling of having a clean home and an empty to-do list going into a holiday week!

2. We all have next week off for Thanksgiving! Nine whole days of togetherness = heaven for this mama. I'm cooking Thanksgiving dinner and we plan to do a lot of sleeping in, a little shopping, and some movie-going. We have some time with friends mixed in and we also plan to do some Christmas decorating, but that will wait until after Thanksgiving. One holiday at a time, people. I will say that Advent snuck up on me this year. It begins next Sunday which is still November! I like it when we have that extra week in between Thanksgiving and Advent.

3. John was out of town for part of last week. I've never loved him traveling for work and am grateful that it's pretty infrequent. I've seen a huge, huge answer to prayer in regard to my fear when he's gone. I used to get so worked up at night when he was away. I'd put chairs in front of every door, "sleep" with lights on, and "sleep" on the couch so I could hear and identify noises better from the front of the house. I don't think I ever really slept when he was away and the minute he'd arrive home, I'd head to bed for a looooong nap. After years of asking God to take my fear away, that spirit of fear is completely and totally gone! And I mean GONE. I am beyond grateful. I still don't like it when John is away, but at least I'm able to get a good night's rest!

4. Will is the mountains this weekend at Snow Camp (Young Life) and Abbey is going to the same camp with her Wyldlife group in a couple of weeks. It will be her first camp experience but she's excited so that makes me happy. Sarah has chosen our church youth group over YL and that's a-ok with us. She's very connected there and I just think that as long as they're each plugged in somewhere and growing that's what matters.

5. Have you started Christmas shopping? I've done a tiny bit. I have so many ideas and am ready to get started and I hope to knock some shopping out this week, mostly online. I am NOT a start-on-Thanksgiving-night-fight-the-crowds-for-the-best-deals shopper any longer. Been there, done that. Not my thing. I will however be doing some Black Friday shopping from the comfort of my cozy couch, with slippers on my feet and coffee in hand. Click and done!

6. I have procrastinated all week on making my menu plan and grocery list. I knew that since John was out of town part of the week I could get by with some easy meals using stuff I had on hand, but now my pantry pickings are slim and I'm out of staples so I must tackle that list and also plan my Thanksgiving Day menu. I do have a turkey but that's about it. So I'm signing off to do some planning and then trek to the grocery store. On a Saturday. Blech. Wish me luck!

SMP 11.12.14

SMP = Seven Minute Post

Good morning from c-c-cold Colorado. An arctic front blew in on Monday and is giving us a taste of winter! School is delayed this morning due to extreme cold because wind chills are about -15. I wouldn't be sad if they'd just cancel school for the day but I don't think that will happen.

 John and I ran to Costco on Saturday for a few things and I picked up this heated throw blanket. Oh my gosh. Heaven. It is wonderful. My friend calls it the "Nap-maker" or something like that, and it's true. I took a short nap under it both Saturday and Sunday and I almost did last night. 

I'd love to stay snuggled under it today and read this book.

I went last week to find a book that was suggested to me and my local bookstore didn't have it so I walked out with this one instead. I love it so far! I have a couple of your suggestions on hold at the library so I need to finish this quickly.

Straight Talk: Relationships

I had a comment on a post I wrote last month and in it, a long-time reader asked me if I would share more about moving in the direction of relational health. I’ve been thinking about this for a while and decided to answer her questions here on the the blog. This is not a "how-to" post; it’s simply a peek into some parts of my journey.

How do you go about making progress in this area?

For me, I really began to take a long, prayerful look at the relationships in my life that felt hard. What was hard? What was good? What did I wish was different? Where was I at fault? What was I willing to invest? What did I really want? I’ve written about this before but sometimes knowing what you don’t want leads you into knowing what you DO want. Through my evaluation process, I realized that some of the relationships I was holding on to were not ones I wanted to keep investing in. I realize that sounds harsh, but in order to be kind to myself I had to cut some ties.

I also invested in some counseling. My husband loves me dearly but he isn’t objective when it comes to me and things that hurt me, so it didn’t feel fair to make him listen/process this stuff with me. Counseling was a logical next step, and as is always the case, was a journey into deeper self-revelation. I was able to clearly identify relational patterns and triggers in my life, and because my counseling was faith-based, I was able to invite Jesus into my process of healing—a process that is still ongoing. I don’t feel led to share the nitty gritty here; I’m sure you understand.

How do you prune relationships that are not healthy? It just seems so awkward, but I know I need to. As a people pleaser, I just don’t know how.

Let me first say that YOU get to define what unhealthy relationships mean in regard to you and your life. Not every hard relationship is unhealthy. Some are definitely worth fighting for. 

I chose to completely cut ties. Maybe you can limit your involvement with those who pull you down, or retreat a bit, but for me, it was a complete break. Cutting ties isn’t clean or easy; I’m still wading through some emotional residue, awkwardness, and lingering hurt. As much as I hate it, I don’t know any way around this. I do know that the peace I feel from stepping away is confirmation that I did the right thing.

It’s easy to play a blame-game when you’re evaluating difficult relationships but it’s important (and difficult) to stay away from that emotional pull. Rarely are things completely one-sided. Owning my fault and and my role in the demise of certain relationships was hard, but necessary.

One big thing I realized during this process is that I have a pretty significant flight response. The minute things get hard or weird, I flee and convince myself I’m better off without that person in my life. There are times that is true but flight shouldn’t be the first/only response and it is completely unfair to emotionally abandon a person.

In regard to being a people pleaser and it being awkward to navigate unhealthy relationships: YES. It is completely awkward. I’m a people pleaser too. I want everyone to like me. The hard truth is that everyone doesn’t. Haters is a strong word, but I have a few in my life, and I’m trying to take Taylor Swift’s advice and Shake It Off. It’s hard to do; harder still if that pleaser mentality is deeply ingrained in every fiber of your being.

I’m also slowly learning to get up every morning and let ONE VOICE define me. God’s voice. He is the one who truly knows my heart and my motives and my needs and my fears and His opinion of me is the one that matters most. It’s the key to freedom in this area.

Can you suggest any books that helped you in this area?

Friendships Don’t Just Happen by Shasta Nelson was a book I loved because it gave me a system to evaluate and categorize my relationships. She explains her system in this video. I think this book also validated my decision to “cut ties” yet didn’t let me off the hook for my flight response and the ways I emotionally check out of relationships. It challenged me to change the way I threw around words like “toxic” and it challenged me to push through difficult relationship challenges. While the book is not overtly Christian, the writer is and I thought she approached things in a balanced way.

I haven’t read Boundaries in a number of years but I still practice some of the things I learned from this book and would suggest it as a resource in navigating relational wellness.

Couple of things to add:

1. All of my "hard" relationships were female friendships. This is an area where I've personally struggled for the past several years. 

2. I'm happy to answer questions in the comments section. 

November Currents

Current Read: Help! Please, please help me find a good work of fiction to read. I do not like non-fiction and I don't want to let another month pass without reading something. Suggestions?

Current Playlist: Taylor Swift, New Life Worship, David Crowder, Coldplay.

Current Color(s): Navy and camel (I like them separate and together) and I'm also digging eggplant. The color, not the veggie. I'll eat just about anything but eggplant and beets. Yucko.

Current Food: I am kind of addicted to kale and sweet potatoes and this paleo bread right now. I'm not Paleo because I like carbs too much, but this recipe is gluten-free and it's fast and I usually have the ingredients on hand so I'm LOVING it.

Current Favorite Favorite: I hinted at an awesome beauty product last month and never gave you the info. It's this eyebrow serum. Over the past few years my eyebrows have basically quit growing--I blame age and over-plucking in my 20s. My aunt told me about this serum (and gave me a tube) when I was in St Louis at the end of August. I've been using it faithfully and I HAVE EYEBROWS again. It's crazy awesome!

Current Addiction: According to my hair stylist I have an addiction to highlights. She went really dark with my hair last time and I did not like it at all. I didn't hate it enough to go back, but I didn't like how dark it was. I went yesterday for a cut/highlights and told her I needed it lighter and brighter and she laughed and told me I'm addicted to highlights. I suppose there are worse things to be addicted to.

Current Wish List: I really really really want a warm hat with an opening for my ponytail! And I also want a set of silicone baking cups.

Current Need: Abbey and I had a good discussion the other day about wants/needs and right now I feel grateful that all of my needs are met.

Current Triumph: I made it to Wednesday afternoon...does that count? It's been a really full week already so I'm totally counting it.

Current Annoyance: I can't figure out how to keep my computer connected to my Wi-Fi at home. UGH. It's something in my settings, I guess, because it's only affecting my computer (no one else's computer and no phones) and it is super duper annoying. I'm techy but I can't seem to figure this out!

Current Blessing(s): I'm feeling grateful for my kids' friends. They each have an exceptional peer group and those friends keep them accountable and out of trouble. It's a big blessing in their lives.

Current Outfit: Jeans, boots, purple sweater (eggplant!) and earrings I've had since like 1990. They're so old they've come back into style.

Current Excitement: I have a couple of fun things on my calendar in the next week that I'm looking forward to including a dinner with friends and a date with my husband.

Current Project(s): I need to finish painting my kitchen table and chairs. I'm also helping out a bit with the Young Life Fundraising Banquet next week so I need to get my ducks in a row with that, and I'm working on some content for my Healthy Holiday accountability group. There's still space in my group--message me if you're interested in more info.

Current plans for the day: The day is winding down but I'm going to pick up my youngest in a bit and wait for John to get home. It's a rare night that we're all at home and he asked if I'd like to get something for dinner. I don't have to think about that. Yes! Let's go. So we're going out to dinner and then I hope to come home, put on my pjs, and watch some mindless television! 

Quick Ketchup

Yes, I know it's catch up and not ketchup, but ketchup is more fun to type.

1. Our Halloween was quite different this year. We had NO kids at home that night. One was working, one was at a football game, and one had a sleepover at a friend's house and trick-or-treated there. We'd decided last month that we weren't going to give out candy this year and instead donate what we'd normally spend to good cause, but John caved at the last minute and bought some enormous bags of candy from Costco. He's a big softie and loves giving out candy to our trick-or-treaters. I suppose I kind of like it too. My friend sent me this picture of Abbey and company before they headed out...she was a cat and she made her cat ears and tulle tutu (which you can barely see) all by herself.

2. Last week my sweet friend came over and we started painting my kitchen table and chairs. Well, I painted and she tackled the upholstery on my chairs. We didn't get finished and I haven't had time to work on it since then but it's looking good so far! I'll post pictures once it's all finished up.

3. It's cold here this morning. The older I get the less I like winter. I've been spoiled by our very, very mild October. Not ready for frigid temps, but I am very much liking our daytime highs this week!

4. Are you voting today? I'm going to my polling place on my way to get my hair cut later. I filled out my ballot a few weeks ago and had it all ready to mail and then I threw it away. On purpose. I was apathetic about the whole thing. Not because I didn't know who/what I wanted to vote for but because I sometimes wonder if it matters, ya know? Conviction won out though and I will vote later today with confidence in the people/things I believe in. It matters, people, and it's a very important privilege that we have in this country! GO VOTE!

5. I'm hosting a Healthy Holiday online accountability group beginning next Monday, 11/10. If that sounds like something you'd like to be a part of or if you'd like more information about it, message me at: meredith@lifeat7000feet.com and I'll give you the 411.

Alrighty...signing off to wrap up some work this morning and head out for a hair appointment! SO excited to get rid of my gray. It's popping up faster and faster these days. UGH.

Saturday Six

1. This {goofy} guy was my lunch date yesterday. He got out of school early and I asked him if he wanted to run some errands with me. He agreed to go if lunch was part of the deal. How could I say no? He'll graduate in May so these moments must be seized.

2. Lately, I've cut way way back on my sugar consumption, as in basically none. at all. nada. zip. {i adore sugar so you have no idea how hard this is for me} Know what? I feel SO much better. I realized mid-week that I wasn't having my mid-afternoon slumps. I actually had energy and wasn't crashing at 8pm either despite getting up before 5am almost every day. Sugar is not my friend. I did make some banana muffins yesterday--oh my gosh, so good--which were sweetened with honey {still sugar!} but I didn't eat the whole batch {ha ha} and I didn't crave them the rest of the day. I like the feeling of having energy more than the sugar rush, I think.

3. I've also cut way way way back on social media. I just prefer to live life offline. Ironic that my #4 is about Instagram--ha!

4. One afternoon this week I was scrolling through my Instagram feed and I came across this post from Ellen DeGeneres.

GET OUT! Y'all, I went in every room of my house that has a switch on the wall connected to an outlet and they were all UPSIDE DOWN. Who knew? I certainly didn't.

5. I'm on a quest this weekend to find some fabric to recover some chairs and to pick a paint color for a project I'm working on...it's harder than I thought it would be. I didn't get the "decorator" gene for sure.

6. I can't even believe the crazy warm weather we're having in Colorado this month. I'm grateful I had a day to hike this week and I really really want to squeeze another one in this weekend. Hope you guys are having a beautiful weekend wherever you are!

A Happy List

Happy Thursday, friends. I'm happy today. My husband is back in town after several days away and life is just better when he's here. I do not enjoy solo-parenting and have ginormous respect for my friends who are single moms or whose hubands travel frequently.

Just thought I'd share a list of happy things that I have either been enjoying or have recently discovered!

1. If you're a fan of NBC's Parenthood and you love Christina Braverman (I've only met one person who didn't like that character!) then you need to check out MrsPotter.com Such a fun find on the world wide web!

2. A couple of weeks ago, I made this healthy protein cookie dough. It's actually very good. I only had one kid try it and I didn't tell her what was in it until AFTER she'd eaten it..and had seconds! She liked it! I liked it too! I'll make it again!

3. This commercial makes me laugh every single time I see it. I think it is so funny.

4. Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer. When my oldest daughter started wearing makeup I tried to find her something very natural looking and we landed upon this tinted moisturizer. She bought a tube and loved it, but no longer wears any kind of foundation. I was in her room the other day looking for some nail polish (that she "borrowed" and didn't put back...grrrrrr) and saw her tube and thought I'd give it a try. It's amazing. It's perfect for those days I don't really want to put make-up on but need a little something to just even out my skin and brighten things up. The downside is that it's expensive--more than my normal make-up--but Sarah told me I could have her tube! #winning

5. I got back in my PiYo groove this week and I'd forgotten how much I love that workout!

6. Costa Vida. This restaurant opened last week really close to my house and I've already been twice. It's SO good. I've tried mahi mahi tacos and a taco salad and both were delicious. There's still a couple of things I want to try from the menu so I guess I'll have to keep going back until I'm satisfied. Smile.

That's all the time I've got for today. Peace out, peeps and happy Thursday!

Six on Saturday

1. Good morning! It's Saturday--possibly my favorite day of the week--and I'm still in my pjs in my big, comfy bed drinking my coffee and surfing the world wide web. I don't have many mornings that are slow and leisurely which makes that one of the things I love most about Saturdays.

2. I just realized I didn't post Sarah's Homecoming pictures from last weekend. She went with a big group of friends and had a fun time!

3. John and I went to a poetry gathering last night. I will confess that those kind of things are completely intimidating to me. I'm not the artsy or intellectual type and I find that most people who like poetry are. It was fun though--very Dead Poets Society-ish. Everyone took turns reading poetry in the dark with a flashlight. My husband was pretty much in his element and I was just there for the cultural opportunity and of course for the hors d'ouevres and dessert, which were delicious by the way. And please be impressed that I can spell hors d'ouevres.

4. I found a navy/white gingham shirt, y'all--at GAP and on clearance! It goes with everything and is my new favorite article of clothing. Abbey took this selfie of us the other day and I had it on with a green cardigan--so fun! (I'm a lame selfie taker--don't ever know where the lens is or where to look!)

5. Our kids had yesterday off from school for conferences and Abbey actually had Thursday off as well. She and I took advantage of a rare day together and ran to the Springs and bought materials for her Halloween costume and then grabbed some lunch and ran to the grocery store. She talked my head off and asked some excellent twelve-year-old-girl questions and we had a really sweet day together. I really do love these tween/teen years with my kids. I had no idea I would love this season as much as I do.

6. I probably need to wrap this up. I need to go pick Abbey up from a sleepover and run a few errands and then I have big plans to come home and do laundry and clean out my closet while watching football and making something delicious for dinner then catching up on my DVRd television shows. I haven't had a Saturday like this in such a long while and I am beyond excited about my blissfully boring day ahead. Peace out, peeps!

What diffuses your strength?

A week or so ago we learned that one of two power lines to our house wasn't functioning correctly and was only delivering 30% of its maximum energy to our home. The power box in our yard showed 100% power at the source but the line was faulty and the power was diffusing into the ground.

Interesting, isn't it?

I was sitting in church the day following this discovery and my mind started wandering (sorry, Pastor Tyg) about all the ways that my power, or strength, is diffused. I start every day with full potential but how is that potential diffused? Because if I'm honest, I don't always feel like I function at 100%. Do you?

I started making a list of all the things that diffuse my strength but basically it boils down to one category: DISTRACTION. I'm working so hard right now on a priority statement for my life--a statement of the things that I'm 100% committed to. Anything beyond those few things (and it's really only a few) is non-priority and likely a distraction that is diffusing my strength.

Here are some examples:

iPhone/computer. I could expand on this ad nauseum but I'm not sure I need to because you guys know what a time-suck and distraction our phones and computers are. I do NOT want to be attached to my phone OR my computer and have actually been trying really hard to take one day a week and just stay offline. It's hard--nearly impossible to stay completely offline--but geez Louise, I need a break from the constant state of connectedness.

Drama. How many little situations do we blow totally out of proportion and let consume our time, energy, and thoughts? RUN away from drama and the people who create it. It's a time-suck that diffuses your strength! I'm so not perfect in this area, and have realized that sometimes I'm the one who creates it but I'm trying to be better about realizing it and amending my behavior because any time or attention I give to that stuff takes times and attention away from my priorities!

Runaway thoughts and worry. As with drama, overthinking and worrying about things beyond our control zaps our time and our strength. I love the quote below. Again, I'm not perfect. I worry. I obsess. I overthink and create wild scenarios in my head that aren't even true. My goal is to get to a place that when I find myself consumed by runaway thoughts and worry I will quickly "take my thoughts captive." (2 Corinthians 10:5) I do this, but it's not always quickly; I seem to take the longer, more scenic route before I'm able to reign those thoughts in.

People. It almost feels wrong to say that people are a distraction but sometimes they can be. I'm slowly coming to a place of realizing that I can't be friends with everyone. I WANT to be, but I just can't. For me, I need to invest myself in a few close friends. I know what it feels like to be "over-relationshipped" (is that even a word?) and it's not a place of strength. It's a place where my strength feels diffused because I'm only able to offer a tiny piece of myself and my priorities feel out of whack because I'm making time for other people instead of the people who matter most.

Busy-ness. We all define "busy" differently. For me, busy-ness means extracurricular activities and getting everyone in my family where they need to be while working part-time and keeping a home running smoothly (laundry, meals, housekeeping). ALL those things are good and necessary, and they keep me BUSY but you what? They're all related to my family which is my #1 priority. I think the distraction of busy-ness is more about the extra things I say YES to that take time and attention from my priorities. I used to be the volunteer queen but now I do a lot less of that and choose the things that feel realistic and enjoyable. I dropped out of my Bunco group because I decided I wanted to spend Friday nights with my family. I limit the things I say yes to that require me to be gone in the evenings and we guard our weekends fiercely.

These are just a few examples and I'm certain there are many more. I'm NOT perfect and I don't have all this figured out and my strength still feels diffused in lots of areas but I want to choose well and I want to live a less distracted life so that I can offer my full strength and potential to the things that really matter!

SMP 10.11.14

SMP = Seven Minute Post

I can't even tell you how happy I am it's Saturday. I'm not a fan of over-activity and busy-ness and John and I fight pretty hard against that for our family but the past couple of weeks have been completely nuts. I think we've had something to do or somewhere to be every single night for the past ten days. This is SO not our lifestyle and I've been more than a bit grumpy about it. We've got a few more big things to push through before we see light at the end of the tunnel but I am ready for a nice, quiet night at home!

It's just John and "his girls" at home this weekend. Will is in Winter Park at Crooked Creek Young Life Camp doing a weekend work crew assignment. Sarah has so much going on with Homecoming that it's really feeling more like a Mer, John, and Abbey weekend. I kind of think Abbey likes it. I kind of do too.