Thursday, November 08, 2007


Yesterday was a rough day.

Wednesdays are one of my busiest days. I got up early yesterday, but for some reason I just couldn't get moving. I was late getting breakfast for the kids, which then put me behind in everything else, and all of the sudden it was time to leave for school and I still hadn't even had time to put on make-up. On Wednesdays, I go straight from dropping kids at school to Bible study. I decided that my Bible study friends love me with or without make-up and I showed up pale-faced. I guess it was providential because I spent most of the morning in tears...tears of conviction, tears of sorrow, and tears of repentance. It was all good, but I left feeling a little heavy of heart.

That heaviness of heart was relentless. In the span of my afternoon, I heard from two friends who both suffered a miscarriage this week, and from another friend who was recently diagnosed with a rapidly spreading cancer. More tears. Many more tears of sorrow for my friends.

By the time John came home I was spent. My eyes burned from crying and all I wanted to do was go to sleep! As we were getting our kids ready for bed, the phone rang and it was my neighbor. More tears, more loss, and more heaviness. At that point I threw my hands up in the air, and said, "Mercy...I give, Lord. Can this all just stop, please???"

Sometimes His ways don't make any sense. I can't see what He's doing. I want to believe and trust that He has it all under control, but some days that is so hard.

We spent some time last night with our kids looking at the Psalms. Explained to them that not all the Psalms are happy, joyful praises to our God. Some are full of sorrow and hurt and wondering where in the world God is. We shared some of the heaviness of the day, and then we prayed. I can't say all of the heaviness lifted, but some of it did. And I'm so thankful for today and for His mercies that are new.


Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife said...

Wow can I relate...Some friends from Georgia just called to say their 6-month-old baby girl had died. Another friend buried a daughter in March and had a still-born last week. Some children in our school lost their mom and dad within 6 months of one another.

There is so much grief everywhere but the only thing I can find comfort in is the fact God is grieving too and certainly not taking any sick delight in our misery as many would believe. Satan is the one who came to kill, steal, and destroy. How pleased is he when we assign the blame for his work on God?

There's a time for tears but(thank you Jesus!) joy comes in the morning. It's times like this I'm flat out ready to wake up from this old life. Aren't you!?

Blessings on your family and friends,


elaine@bloginmyeye said...

I'm so glad you went to the Psalms...and showed your children the example of going to the Psalms. It's so easy to get stuck and stay stuck when we feel overwhelmed by our feelings. But we need to pour out our feelings to our author and creator. And we need to share them with others who still have words to intercede for us. God bless, -e.

Lindsay said...

Holding you in my heart, dear Mer. What a way to teach you kids prayer... via the Psalms.

Susan said...

Oh, it hurts my heart to read the things happening. The Psalms are a great place of inspiration and solace. A wonderful foundation for your kids.

*carrie* said...


Thinking of you!

If you happen to have the song on CD, give a listen to O Great God by Nichole Noredman.

Trish said...

I've been praying for you, Mer. It is difficult to trust that God is in control even when we can't see or understand what He's doing. And in the midst of the pain, even knowing that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him" (Romans 8:28) can be tough. But hang in there. You're doing the right thing in teaching your kids about the Psalms ~ they're so representative of a full lifetime of ups and downs!

I will continue to pray for you.


mentorman said...

...extra grateful the reality of the real you!!!

mentorman said...

...ooops...let's try that again:

...extra grateful for the reality of the real you!!!