Monday, June 04, 2007

Meet the Freak

I am a freak. No question about it. I got to thinking about it yesterday while we were enjoying a picnic lunch at the park. In the summer, we love to pack our lunch on Sundays and head to the park after church. So after we finished eating, the kids were playing and John and I were sitting on our quilt watching them play and soaking up the sun, and he offered me the very last strawberry. I love strawberries. They're my favorite fruit. And this particular batch of strawberries was exceptionally delicious. But I told him, no thanks, he could eat it. I have this weird thing about eating fruit on top of other things. He looked at me like I was an alien instead of the woman he's been married to for almost 17 years. And not knowing what else to say, I reminded him that I'm a freak sometimes. His head slowly nodded up and down while he started grinning slowly. Good thing he's not freaked out by me. Anyway, that got me to thinking about my freakishness, and so I thought I'd just come clean and share it with you guys. Here are 5 freaky things about me.

1. I only eat fruit on an empty stomach. The one exception might be dessert. Like peach cobbler or strawberry shortcake. But I never eat just plain fruit as my dessert. Just can't do it.

2. I suffer from a severe phobia of germs. I wash my hands dozens of times each day. I disinfect my kitchen sink and countertops daily. I don't use sponges and I run my dish-scrubbers through the dishwasher every day. Hotel rooms scare me too. I wear flip-flops in the bathroom/shower and my slippers in the room and I keep my toothbrush standing upright in one of the glasses by the sink. My kids have never seen the play area at the mall (we take creative shortcuts) because I'm deathly afraid of the germs lurking there. I wipe down the shopping carts at the grocery store, and thank goodness more stores are providing antibacterial wipes these days. I won't flush my toilet without the lid down AND my toothbrush put away inside the medicine cabinet. Public restrooms are another nightmare altogether. Am I scaring you yet?

3. I drink out of the same cup every day. If I forget to run it through the dishwasher, I'll wash it rather than use another one. It's a purple MOPS cup that I've had probably 5 years. It was a gift to me for serving on the MOPS steering committee. I like it because it is insulated and it has a handle. I need a cup with a handle (especially in the winter) because I don't like touching a cold glass/cup to drink a cold beverage. See, I told you I'm a freak.

4. I clean my kids' ears out with Q-tips almost daily. Two of my kids have the grossest, brownest ear wax you've ever seen. It accumulates on the outside of their ear canals and I just can't stand looking at it. So I clean it. I'll see one of them and say, "Honey, go get mommy 2 Q-tips, and they come back and stand there obediently while I clean 'em up. But they like me to "wik it first, mommy" which means they want me to moisten the Q-tip. By licking it. I've been doing this for so long that one of my kid couldn't pronounce the "L" sound, replacing it with a "W" instead, and we've just sorta kept on saying that with the ear/Q-tip thing. So I "wik" it first, then go to town cleaning.

5. This one is probably what most people would say qualifies my freakishness. I DO NOT LIKE CHOCOLATE. Not at all. Even the smell makes my stomach turn. Most people simply can't understand this. I'm not sure I do either. At one point in my life I liked it. I remember going to the corner grocery store and buying Marathon bars--the foot-long, rope-shaped candy bar with caramel inside. I remember making Hershey kiss trees at Christmas with my grandmother and gorging myself on stolen kisses. And breaking Kit-Kat bars in half to share with my sister. But somewhere along the way I stopped liking it. I'll eat Oreos from time to time and just last week I had a Klondike bar, but for some reason that doesn't really have the same chocolate taste as say a Hershey bar. White chocolate is a different story for me though. I do like that. I don't really crave it the way chocolate lovers crave chocolate, but I don't usually turn it down either. The best creation? White chocolate Reeses' Peanut Butter cups. They are delicious!!!

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